what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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