My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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