It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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