We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
