He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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