whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
