nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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