I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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