god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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