when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
