i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
