overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize