i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.