i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off