With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
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You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
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They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.