Where is the hickey?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
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no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand