U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
