I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
