Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
