oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I will be naked everywhere
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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