I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
