I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
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Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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