38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
