curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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