Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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