Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
