i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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