Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
