Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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