I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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