best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
