I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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