No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize