this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
What a dumb baby whore.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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