Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
someone owes me an orgasm
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
