Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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