listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
