That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I understand Curling. That high.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize