My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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