Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize