whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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