i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
