her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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