Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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