But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
