Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
