If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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