Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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