I wannas sexs uuuuu
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
