WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
