alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
operation harelip BJ is a go
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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