It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
