tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
