I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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