We're like a lot better than the average bears
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
