Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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