dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize