yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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