I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
