do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
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Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
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Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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