IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
