There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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