A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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