Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
