just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
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this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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