also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's blow job season.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
