I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
