I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I forget how to act sober
Randomize